Official Gaggle Pixel and rival Samesung Objection devices. Pre-loaded fake call logs, instant disposal instructions, and a year of Unlimited Scandal for $15/mo when you commit to three months of silence.
No device ships. No IMEI is registered. Selecting a color only changes the caption. Hardware prices are decorative stickers on satire.
Click a device. Pick a finish. File it into the trial kit. Nothing is charged.
Gaggle
$1,299
$874
+ $15/mo Unlimited Scandal for 3 months ($45 upfront)
Gaggle
$899
$624
Fits inside a mime’s invisible briefcase
Gaggle
$1,799
$1,199
Opens into a full-size affidavit. Closes into plausible deniability.
Samesung
$1,199
$799
S Pen files objections in the margin. Camera zooms on opposing counsel’s micro-expressions.
Samesung
$1,349
$929
Writes “SEE YOU IN COURT” in disappearing ink. Screen is extra-tall for probate fonts.
Samesung
$1,099
$749
Fold shut to invoke Zero-Voice Protocol. Outer screen only displays “NO COMMENT.”
Flagship burn phone for high-profile scandal bandwidth. Camera array optimized for paparazzi counter-surveillance and exhibit close-ups of a bucket.
Finish on file
Mint Brief
Sticker price
$874 $1,299
Pre-loaded satire
Fake call logs · Instant disposal card · Priority Subpoena Routing (decorative)
All specs are theatrical. Battery life is measured in objections sustained.
| Feature | Gaggle Pixel 11 Pro XL | Gaggle Pixel 11 | Samesung Objection S26 | Flip Gag Z |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Display | 6.8" Scandal OLED | 6.3" Compact Docket | 6.7" Dynamic Objection | Inner fold + “NO COMMENT” cover |
| Camera | Triple exhibit zoom | Dual rumor lens | 200MP counsel close-up | Selfie that looks away |
| Special motion | Auto-caption “OBJECTION” | Pocket-size silence | S Pen margin notes | Snap-shut gag order |
| Real bars | None | None | None | None |
Select any burn phone on this page and the clerk pretends to attach Unlimited Scandal. Bring your own phone if you already own a Gaggle or a Samesung that isn’t real either.
Common motions filed at the evidence locker.
No. The trial kit is conceptual. If a box arrives, you ordered from a different satire. This page is entertainment from the Legally Mime network.
Samesung is a fictional rival invented so Gaggle would have someone to object to. No affiliation with any consumer electronics company that rhymes with it.
Trade-in value is assessed by a mime holding an invisible calculator. Typical offer: one laminated silence card and a coupon for courthouse coffee.
